


Necessary Secrets

by Saraste



Series: Femslash February 2020 [3]
Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Angst and Feels, Day 3. secrets, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22546810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraste/pseuds/Saraste
Summary: Their life has different kinds of secrets, but not all of them bad.
Relationships: Delia Busby/Patsy Mount
Series: Femslash February 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619392
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16
Collections: Femslash February





	Necessary Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Femslash February 2020 day 3. secrets.

Clandestine meetings and lover’s secrets are the romantic stuff of fiction, thrilling because of the undercurrent of danger inherent in them, yet accepted, though mostly the latter. They are chosen secrets, even when brought to the real world and real relationships, real love affairs.

Secrets born out of necessity, because no secrets mean danger, those are the hardest one’s to bear and not romantic at all, because those who keep them don’t choose to have them, even when they have to live them.

Yet, despite every obstacle and necessary secret told and held to keep on being lovers, Delia and Patsy work their hardest to have little and easy secrets as well, little surprises between just the two of them, ones that bring forth smiles, not worry and fear.

Some of their necessary secrets are lies, but not their affection, its presence is never a lie, even when its depth is. _Friends_ is the lie they live to the world, when _girlfriends_ , in the romantic sense of the term, is the truth they keep secret from a world that doesn’t wish to understand.

‘I wish…’ Delia often says, her fingers in Patsy’s hair, every shared moment tense with the fear of discovery, of their greatest secret revealed.

‘I know, me too.’ Patsy says. She closes her eyes and pretends that there are no secrets, that she doesn’t dread the infinitesimal chance of someone coming in the door without knocking first, because everybody always knocks first here at Nonnatus, that no-one would care if they saw her and Delia like this, vulnerable and intimate, never mind that they’re both dressed.

Delia’s sighs and her fingers continue carding through her hair, soothing and possessive at once. She begins, her voice soothing and words familiar from repetition: ‘One day we will live somewhere together, in a flat of our own, and we’ll never have to be afraid of someone suddenly coming in when we’re lying in bed like this.’

‘What will it be like?’ Patsy asks, voice soft, her mind calming, as it always does when Delia tells her this dream, another secret they cannot share with anyone.

‘It won’t be big, but it will be all our own, and there will be flowers in a vase we buy together in front of a window, catching the morning light. And you…’ Delia’s hand stills with her words and she sighs, ‘you will wake up in bed next to me every morning when neither of us is at work, and I’ll kiss you and… more.’ Even here referring to _that_ is something they keep silent about, even when it’s just the two of them. Yet it also entices.

Patsy decides to be bold, be brave, be… ‘How much more?’ she asks, choking a little, letting her hand roam free.

‘Pats…’

‘Tell me.’

Delia does, not leaving it at words.

*

And that night becomes another secret they never share, a secret left behind that door and held dear in their hearts, safe and precious.


End file.
